Our Small-handed Emperor trump Has No Clothes: An Updated Fable

A note: This is satire. Obviously. This is satire because no real president could be as bad as donald j. trump, or whatever he calls himself these days.

“There’s a sucker born every minute”— attributed to P.T. Barnum, though this attribution, too, may be part of the con

“America is living through a fractured fairy tale, in the grip of a lonely and uninformed mad king, an arrogant and naïve princeling, a comely but complicit blond princess and a dyspeptic, dystopian troll under the bridge.”
— Maureen Dowd

“He is thus the all-time record-holder of the Dunning-Kruger effect, the phenomenon in which the incompetent person is too incompetent to understand his own incompetence.”— David Brooks

“[trump’s] Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale lie”— with apologies to Hans Christian Andersen, who said this, if updated, and who also wrote something like the following story

In our present, troubled times there was an Emperor — “President” he pleaded to be called, in tweet and facebook post — so exceedingly fond of cavernous clothes and long ties that, for some reason we can only guess, they pointed right down to the zipper on his pants. This, even though he spent his money on nothing but the finest clothing, especially for golfing. Not since the enormous William Howard Taft has there been such a carriage on a president, even a so-called one, yet this was odd because this emperor is also a sexist, bigoted jerk, who boasts of grabbing women by the pussy without their consent. He cared nothing about reviewing his soldiers, and patted his Marine guard on the back with two hands, while forced to stand at attention. To this emperor, all his duties were like going to the theatre, sitting on the ceramic gold throne, or going for a ride in the Queen of England’s carriage, or driving a golf cart to keep up with the other NATO leaders, all to show off his new clothes. He wouldn’t even visit our friends the Brits unless they guaranteed him a high school-style pep rally. He had a gigantic coat and the longest ties for every hour of the day, and instead of saying, as one might, about any other ruler, “The King’s in council,” here they always said: “The Emperor’s in his dressing room.”

Read the entire fable, updated for our new era, at Medium.com:

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